Merasa bahagia tapi bahagianya kok hambar ya? Merasa sukses tapi kok masih belum lengkap rasanya? Ada yang mengalami hal ini gak? Dalam kacamata orang lain, kita diliputi kebahagiaan dan kesuksesan, namun sebenarnya apa yang orang lihat begitu, sebenarnya tidaklah benar kenyataannya. Contohnya begini, beberapa waktu lalu, aku tercengang melihat sebuah rekaman video yang diputar oleh pak Adi Gunawan, seorang ketua umum asosiasi hipnoterapi klinis indonesia.
Dalam video tersebut, seorang pria setengah baya menangis seperti anak-anak saat akan disuntik oleh perawat cantik. Padahal ia adalah seorang tentara yang memang berbadan kekar. Coba deh bayangin, bagaimana terlatih dan terdidik nya dia, kemampuan survival melawan musuh dan ancaman menghadapi binatang buas sudah tidak diragukan lagi.
Akan tetapi mengapa reaksi ini bisa terjadi? Fisik dan jejak kronologisnya yang seperti itu malah tiada daya menghadapi jarum suntik yang sangat kecil, tipis, dan mungkin efek sakitnya tidak akan bertahan dalam beberapa hari bahkan mingguan, bukan?
Ternyata masing-masing individu memiliki innerchild yang membuat seseorang bereaksi kuat terhadap sesuatu tanpa sepenuhnya menyadari kenapa bisa terjadi. Contoh studi kasus di atas berakar dari apa yang didengar, dilihat, dan dialami waktu kecil namun masih menampakkan diri di masa dewasa. Sehingga benang merahnya adalah kalau Innerchild itu merupakan sisi kepribadian seseorang yang masih bereaksi dan terasa seperti anak kecil meski sudah dewasa tak peduli ketenaran dan profesinya.
Akibat buruk Pengalam masa kecil memunculkan trauma mengiringi masa pertumbuhannya, ketika seorang anak melihat orangtuanya depresi, bertengkar hebat, perang dingin, atau berperilaku kasar dan kejam. Trauma masa kecil juga bisa muncul ketika seorang anak tidak mendapatkan perhatian, penghiburan, rasa tenang, dan cinta dari orangtua yang seharusnya menjadi ruang pertama ia merasa aman dan senang.
Atau bisa jadi kata mbak Anggun Meylani Pohan, seorang industrial Psikologis, perilaku orang tuanya ini muncul saat pertama kali memasuki dunia pernikahan namun memilih mengikuti tren fenomena masa kini, yaitu menjalani kehidupan pernikahan childfree, menjalani kehidupan tanpa keturunan. Sehingga diluar perkiraan saat ternyata memiliki anak biologis, anak tersebut menjadi anak yang tak pernah diharapkan keberadaannya.
Perlindungan atau kehangatan keluarga pun jadi tak ia rasakan. Akhirnya ketika dewasa, anak tersebut sering diliputi rasa takut dan khawatir. Tak jarang juga sering mendistorsi caranya melihat realita ketika dewasa. Sehingga kemudian mempengaruhi caranya berinteraksi, mengambil keputusan dengan diri sendiri dan orang lain.
Di sisi lain, memang sebagian orangtua tidak menganut paham childfree akan tetapi memiliki trauma dari orangtuanya sendiri. Karena tidak mengerti, bagaimana memahami dan mengelola luka dirinya di masa kecil menjadi performa bahagia saat dewasa, sehingga secara tidak sadar, ia menumpahkan kepada anak-anaknya di masa kini.
Lantas bagaimana memutus rantai derita dan menyembuhkan luka batin anak dalam diri ini? Mindfulness lah terlebih dahulu sebab dengan memiliki kesadaran dan perhatian penuh terhadap apa yang terjadi di dalam diri ini dan apa yang sedang di lakukan tentunya beda apalagi manfaat dari mindfulness dapat membantu mengubah cara pandang sehingga kondisi mental lebih damai, tidak reaktif berlebihan, tidak mudah terprovokasi, dan jauh dari stress.
Kemudian Menurut Marissa Anita, pegiat mental health great mind, perlu melakukan pemulihan hubungan dengan anak dalam diri dengan menjalin komunikasi dengannya. Setidaknya setiap hari sisihkan 5-10 menit untuk berbicara dan mendengarkan anak dalam diri ini melalui;
· Meditasi duduk atau
· menulis surat ditujukan kepada anak dalam diri sambil melihat foto di waktu kecil
· katakan padanya kalimat menenangkan, pujian, serta kata-kata semangat
Pemimpin spiritual, aktivis perdamaian, dan guru dari kehidupan berwawasan (mindful living) Thich Nhat Hanh mencontohkan begini,
“anak dalam diriku yang terluka, aku di sini siap mendengarkanmu, ceritakan seluruh deritamu, aku di sini sungguh-sungguh mendengarkanmu, kau adalah anak dalam diriku, aku adalah kau. Kini kita sudah dewasa, tidak perlu takut lagi, kita aman, bisa melindungi diri sendiri. Ayo ikut ke masa kini. Jangan biarkan masa lalu memenjarakan kita. Pegang tanganku, mari berjalan bersama. Menikmati setiap langkah kita di masa kini”
Dari kata-kata tersebut, kita bisa memeluk dan memberikan rasa aman kepada anak dalam diri ini bukan? Jika kemudian ternyata dalam obrolan dengan anak pada diri ini, kita malah ingin menangis, maka tumpahkanlah. Sebab saat itu kita sedang mengobrol dengan anak dalam diri ini, rangkullah dan tersenyumlah setelahnya, ajak ia berbahagia mengenali jati diri di masa dewasa yang akan penuh kebahagiaan.
Tindakan Ini bisa jadi awal rekonsiliasi, anak dalam diri ini. Tapi tidak berhenti disitu saja, mbak Marissa Anita juga menyarankan saat menikmati matahari terbenam, bayangkanlah sedang menggandeng tangan anak dalam diri ini nikmatilah indahnya semburat senja bersama. Sangat indah dan menenangkan sekali bukan?
Sungguh tak ada cara paling ampuh untuk rekonsiliasi dengan anak pada diri ini apalagi jika lukanya sangat dalam kecuali membiasakan diri melakukan inner child therapy dengan mencintai, mengobrol, merangkul, tulus memaafkan peristiwa masa lalu, dan membawa si anak ini ke dalam kebahagiaan.
Referensi;
- Parade 3 dan 5 oleh Ruang Pulih bersama Dr. Dr. Adi Gunawan Anggun, ST Meylani Pohan, M.Psi., Psikolog .,MPd.,CCH
- On Marissa's Mind great mind
67 Komentar
Kadang emang suka ngerasa inner child ini penting di perhatikan, setidaknya dibawa bersama bahagia gitu ya.
BalasHapusSeru banget acaranya.. Kita jadi tau kalo inner child dalam diri nggak boleh diabaikan..
BalasHapusiya ya, seru banget ternyata ngebahas tentang masa kecil:) apalagi kalau bisa berpengaruh sama masa sekarang
HapusSepertinya inner child saya muncul saat main n nonton bareng anak2 😂
BalasHapusHahaha main apa kak?
HapusBener banget, yang penting adalah menerima dulu sosok anak-anak dalam diri kita yang menjadi penyebab inner child masalahnya apa. Baru bisa dilanjutkan dengan terapi, misalnya mengajak ngobrol, meditasi atau ke pakar kesehatan.
BalasHapusJadi pengen praktekin juga nih ilmunya. Inner child tiap orang memang berbeda ya. Dan punya penyelesaian yang berbeda2 juga.
BalasHapusSetuju nih sama mbak Rina. Semacam ada level terapinya gitu ya, mbak.
HapusAku baru dengar sih ini innerchild,, aku suka ketawa2 klo nontom kartun pdahal aku udah gede apa itu innerchild juga?
BalasHapusYang bikin kita ketawa saat ini karena nonton kartun, kan adegannya lucu kak hehe tapi ada juga Innerchild yang bahagia lohh ntar di next tulisan yaa
HapusInner Child Therapy, sangat menarik sekali reviewnya kak... BTW kalau phobia binatang kira-kira bisa dilakukan Inner Child Therapy juga gak sih?
BalasHapusBisa di cek kembali sih kak, mungkin gak sih, ada pengalaman buruk dengan binatang kah sebelumnya?
HapusSebelum bisa 'move forward', harus 'move in' dulu yah :)..
BalasHapusBenahin yg belom beres di dalem diri, kalo emg ada yg perlu diberesih..
Btw, nice post!
Baru kali ini dengar istilah Inner Child Therapy dan setelah aku baca tulisan ini aku rasa memang penting banget untuk berdamai dengan trauma di masa kecil. Soalnya apa yang ada di masa kecil itu kan pasti akan membentuk diri kita di masa depan nantinya.
BalasHapusMakasih bange sharingnya! Dapet ilmu baru 😊
Sungguh bersyukur diriku bagian dari Gen Z saat ini yang lebih aware sama mental health dan childfree (kalau dilihat secara umum ya). Semoga bisa saling vulnerable dan mendengarkan satu sama lain. Thanks for posting!
BalasHapusInner child yang negatif emang harus diterapi sih, memang baiknya sebelum menikah biar pas setelah nikah gak kebawa
BalasHapusPerlunya berdamai dengan masa lalu seperti inner child ini agar apa pun yang terjadi saat masa kecil bisa di terima dan di ambil hikmahnya sebagai jalan hidup yang harus di lalui sebagai proses menuju saat ini
BalasHapusKejadian di masa kecil memang bisa membawa dampak buruk setelah dewasa nanti, apalagi jika kejadian di masa kecil itu sdh menjadi trauma. Sejak dini harus segera diantisipasi. Nice post!
BalasHapusBukunya udah baca juga aku nih mba yg soal innerchild. menarik memangg
BalasHapusRupanya anak dalam diri itu perlu diajak bicara dan diterima juga ditemani dalam menerima luka-luka tadi agar innerchild jadi pulih ya. Wah asik nih bisa dapat pengetahuan begini melalui kegiatan dari Ruang Pulih.
BalasHapusinnerchild juga perlu dijelaskan mbak ada yang positif dan negatif ya, jadi kita harus bedakan..yang negatif ini harus diterapi ya
BalasHapusSiap mbak next tulisan Insya Allah akan di bahas lebih detail yaa. Thank you for reminding me
HapusLama mencari artikel seperti ini dan ketemu di sini. Saya salah satu yang mengalami hal ini. Sulit dan benar-benar sulit. Seperti mau melangkah tapi kaki ga bisa digerakkan. Kira-kira seperti itu kak.
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Inner Child Therapy, also known as Inner Child Work or Inner Child Healing, is a therapeutic approach that focuses on addressing unresolved childhood issues and traumas that may continue to affect an individual's emotional and psychological well-being in adulthood. This form of therapy is rooted in the belief that we all carry within us an "inner child," which represents the emotions, memories, and experiences from our early years.Divorce Lawyers Fairfax VA
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Inner child therapy is a crucial aspect of child development, focusing on understanding and providing beneficial experiences for children. It involves various aspects such as effectiveness, method and approach, assessment of each case, quality of therapy, response and interpretation, ethics and ethics, and integration with other therapies. It also includes evaluating the effectiveness of the therapy, its consistency and duration, its integration with other therapies, its effectiveness, its sensitivity, its accessibility, and its relevance in different contexts. By addressing these aspects, parents can provide more comprehensive information about the effectiveness and relevance of inner child therapy in addressing individual needs. By providing a comprehensive understanding of inner child therapy, parents can better support their children's emotional and psychological well-being. accidente de motocicleta
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